Oh Life

Anyone else notice that life has a way of just kicking you in the butt as soon as you think you have it all figured out? That would be my life. Most of you know that Sam and I were divorced due to physical abuse this year. Its been a long tough road but I think I'm coming out the other side. So a big huge thank you to all my amazing friends and family for all you have done for me. I look up to each and every one of you.

Friends

A long time ago I wrote a blog and gave some shoutouts to some friends. I think its good to tell people what they mean to you so I'd like to do it again. Michelle Tanner is my best friend. She is always there to lift me up when I need it. Shes also there to laugh at me when I'm bieng retarded LOL I can say anything to her and know that I'm not bieng judged and know that she will take what I say with a grain of salt. As wierd as it is we seem to get alot of inspiration concerning each other. I'm glad shes willing to share the wealth LOL Michelle is my sister. She may not be a literal part of my family, but I KNOW she is my sister. I'm not 100% sure how relationships work on the other side, but maybe God gave us to different parents cause he knew niether set could handle both of us LOL We have had many witnesses in the temple and out of the temple that have told us that we are sisters. We are given alot of the same promises in life and alot of the same gifts. I could write a whole blog about how much I love this girly but I won't cause I have others to thank as well. Michelle, just know that I love you. I am forever indebted to you. Sam Brauer is my fiance. I love him sooooo much. No matter what happens in our daily lives I know that I am supposed to be with this man at this time in this place. We are getting married Dec 10th in the Billings Montana temple. We like similar lifestyles and we have a good time just hanging out with each other. Just like anyones fiance he can drive me batty sometimes, but I love him because of who he is. I'll take him 100%. The good, the bad, and the craziness. When people ask us how we got together we always tell them it was a pity date gone ary. LOL Niether of us expected anything from our date and yet here we are two months later. Sam, I love you. I cant wait to spend eternity with you. Jeanne Burmiester was my roomate in college. We were almost the same person we were together so often. LOL I still remember her huge Orlando Bloom poster that HAD to have a spot on the wall. We would stay up all hours of the night playing monopoly. I bet you didn't know that monopoly could be a violent game didya? This girl taught me alot about service and how to be a good person. I'm sure I wasn't the easiest person to live with but we had a great time. Jeanne, you are always such an example to me. No matter what happens you always come out with a smile on your face and your faith intact. I think you will make a great missionary someday. Diane Cook and I have known each other since high school. Back then she was Diane Skarin(screen). We were good friends in high school but we have been better friends since high school. She was my excersise buddy. And I love that she always let me come over and play with her girls. You people have no idea how cool it is that a two year old not in your family knows your name and knows who you are. Diane and her husband have been my spiritual advisers and have always been there when I just needed someone to talk to. Diane is always feeding me too. LOL This seems to be a habit with people. When Sam first saw my cabinets he decided there was not enough food in them. So he had to go buy me food. LOL Diane, thank you for always bieng there when times were hard and I needed chocolate or a hug. LOL Thank you for helping me strive to be a better person. I'm sure sometimes you felt like I didn't hear you but I promise I did. Things you have said to me and things you have taught me will stay with me forever. You are a great example. And your husbands pretty okay too. Brittney Valliere(I probably slaughtered that. I don't know why I can never remember how to spell your name!!!!) and I have known each other our whole lives. Our parents are friends. She taught me that only the ponies she played with were cool. LOL Shes the one who would get us into all kinds of trouble as kids that make for good stories now. Brittney is sort of like a sister but sort of not. Shes family but in a different way then MIchelle. Michelle became family. Brittney has always been family. Its complicated and I can't really explain it. Who elses dad would tell me I'm looking hott? LOL I still can't believe he did that. LOL Her kids are pretty cute too. Keith is a doll, and Kimmy is just tooo cute. I still am going to steal her one of these days. Brittney is always asking me questions that make me think. She makes sure I never take my faith or my relationships for granted. Brittney is also there to laugh at me when I'm bieng retarded. She makes sure I know when I'm bieng dumb or uppity. LOL Britt, weve known each other all our lives and I hope that our kids will someday be friends like we were. Thank you for accepting the diffrences in us and not letting it affect the friendship that has grown since we have become adults. I'm glad that you are kind enough to be one of my bridesmaids. Just remember that I will never tell you how bad your appliances suck. LOLMalisa Fields and I have also known each other all our lives. Our moms have been friends for forever. Now shes dating my brother. Its a little wierd but its been great getting to know her again as an adult. We used to torture our younger siblings and be tortured by the boys. Now shes fraternizing(sp?) with the enemy. LOL Malisa, your a really sweet person who I admire alot. Just know I'd rather have you as a sister-in-law then as a stepmother. LOL Thank you for bieng good to Daniel and bieng support he can count on. Just remember not to tear up the Christmas tree this year okay? lolKristen Maynard is a girl I work with. She has been through hell and highwaters and yet is still such a sweet girl. She makes me giggle and takes my abuse at work. Kristen, thank you for making work bearable. I don't know what I would do without you somedays. Alicia and I met at Hastings as well. She has taught me alot about drunk people. LOL Just kidding Alicia. She was great company when I first started coming to Rock Springs. She was always willing to stick up for me when others would make fun. Thanks Alicia. I'm so proud of you for bieng sober for so long! Keep it up girl!There are many others but I will have to write another blog. This one has gotten to long and Sam should be home any time. Love to all who have made a difference in my life.

Yay for bieng engaged

I am obviously a terrible blogger. Its been a month since I blogged last. So remember that guy Sam? We are engaged!!!! When he proposed he got down on one knee and asked "Honey, do you wanna get hitched for time and all eternity?" It was such a him thing to say. I love him so much. Of course I said yes. And my ring is beautiful. I love it. He keeps asking me if I'm sure I don't want a bigger one and I'm like yes baby I'm sure. I like the one I've got. We are getting married December 10th in the Billings Montana LDS temple. We are then having a ring ceremony/reception December 12th in Laramie WY. Then we are going to have an open house in SLC in January 2nd(Thats the plan at the moment anyways.) I went to SLC on Thursday and I went dress shopping. Well I found my dress!!!! I love it. Its so pretty. For those of you that would like to see what it looks like go to totallymodest.com and click on gowns, then page 3 and its the first one. Since we can't let Sam see me in my dress until the wedding, if you want a picture of me in the dress you will have to email me. Well I gots to go but I promise I will get better about blogging!

My life is so crazy!

If I have learned anything in the last week its that you just never know what can happen to you. Last Monday a guy named Sam texted me and asked me out on a date. I was like why not? So we decided to go out the next night. He took me to the 9 Iron Grill out at the Golf Course which just happens to be the nicest restraunt in town. We had a great time! We have alot in common and we just talked and talked and talked. Which is great because I was so afraid we were going to have nothing to talk about and we would just sit there and stare at each other. It wasn't like that though. We both had alot to say.
After dinner he asked if I was sick of him yet or if I wanted to go see a movie. So we went and saw UP in 3D. It was way cuute. Def one I will prolly buy when it comes out. Well the whole night he was a perfect gentleman. He opened all the doors for me. Car doors and doors to the buildings. He paid for dinner and then he paid for the movie and drinks and popcorn. It was awesome. On the way home he told me he'd had a good time and would like to take me out again. I told him I'd like that.
He also text me the next morning and told me he had a great time and really enjoys talking to me. We were gonna hang out in the days following but some things came up. So we ended up hanging out Friday evening. And pretty much every hour we could since then. By Sunday we are a couple. Not sure what exact day that happned lol but it did.
He treats me soooooo well. I guess I'd been treated bad for so long I had forgotten there were guys out there who might actually like me and enjoy my company. He makes me feel amazing! Sexy, beautiful, smart, and so many other things! He tells me he enjoys spending time with me. I'm pretty sure hes telling the truth cause he texts me all day through work and then we get together as soon as both of us are off work.
Its really hard to believe how fast this has all happned. We have only been dating a week! And yet. . . I love him. I know that sounds soo crazy. Sometimes it sounds crazy to me to. But I do. I love him. And he loves me. Sometimes I'm convinced we are both just crazy but if thats the case who wants to be sane? I love him! He makes me laugh. He likes to watch cute kid movies as much as I do. He gets teary eyed during chick flicks. Isn't that just the cutest thing? He is LDS but he isn't Peter Priesthood. We both have things in our past we arent proud of but we have total honesty and no judgement. He makes me want to stand on the rooftops and scream, "I love Samuel Thomas Brauer!" He doesn't roll his eyes at me when I want to show him my scrapbook pages.
He is a butthead once and a while though. LOL To tell his mom he was dating me he did this: He was talking to her about his dad's fathers day present and then right before he goes he says, "Hey Mom, there is someone who wants to talk to you." and then he freaking hands the phone to me! With no introduction! ACK! She seems like a cool lady though. He told me hes in trouble now cause he thinks that we will get on great. I asked him why he was in trouble cause of that. He told me its because now if he screws up his Mom will kill him. LOL Thats great. Maybe I'll have to put him on the phone with my mom. LOL But since they are going to be here for my bday I guess I will just let him talk to them when he meets them. anyways! I gots to go back to work. Bye!

Counting my blessings

I am going to list some of the things in my life I consider blessings. Its always good to take the time to do this.

1. I have a great family who loves me.

2. I also have a great online family who loves me.

3. I am for the most part healthy

4. I have a roof over my head

5. I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for

6. I have a job

7. I have food

8. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

9. I have a computer

10. There is a God in Heaven who loves me

11. All my "stuff" (I don't have a need to list everything I own but I do know that having them is a blessing so I just grouped it into one big category)

12. I get to go see Michelle in like a couple weeks!!!

13. You know pretty much everything in my life is a blessing this list could go on forever so I will stop now. :)

My eternal companion

I just got done watching the Notebook. That movie makes me cry every time! When I first watched it I cried so hard I had to call my bf at the time. I just kept telling him to please never forget me. Its so sad and yet so happy at the same time. I wan't someone like that in my life. Someone who I have passion with. Someone who will stay by me. Who will accept me for who I am. Who will love me more then anything else. This person will be my eternal companion.
I'm a hopeless romantic. LOL I love sappy moves. Seems like especially Nicholas Sparks ones. His books are okay but I guess I get so much more emotion out of seeing it play out.

My first Blog on this site!

So this is my first posting for this blog. I'm going to take it slow and just learn as I go. I guess I wanted soemthing like this that is just a little more private then my myspace page. The myspace blogs seem more like something for huge things and not just everyday blogging. So I might do both I might just do this one. I don't know yet.

So there has been this guy in my branch named Will. that I've been sorta curious about. I kind of wanted to get to know him better. I just don't have the confidence to walk up to him and invite him to do stuff. Also stupid crap with my ex prevented me from following through. But now this guy wants to set me up with another guy. A guy named Sam. I'm open to it I guess. I would never turn down a date. . From what I understand of this new guy is he was married once before and has only recently been coming back to church. Does it make me a bad person that I hesitate a little? I sure hope not. I will take a chance though. If I've learned anything its that you never know who might be a good fit for you.
I guess my prefence for the man I marry is one who has never been married before and who is strong in the Church. This doesn't mean this is the only option though. I'm open to anyone. I love kids. If my dad hadn't been willing to marry someone with kids I wouldn't have him now. Technically hes my stepdad. But since my real dad died when I was not quite a year old, hes the only dad I've really ever known. My mom married him when I was two. The only time I ever really think of him as my stepdad is when I have to explain to people why my last name is different.
I think about my real dad sometimes. My mom tells me that I was just his pride and joy. I wonder, would he be proud of me? With the life I lead? The choices I have made? I hope so. Is it weird that every once and a while I feel like I miss him? I didn't know him very long but sometims its sad. Though I wouldn't trade the family I have for anything. I love my stepdad. And my youngest brother Ben wouldn't be here if things hadn't happned the way they did.
Ben is just the coolest kid. He makes me laugh. Sometimes it seems that we are really close. Yes I wish he chosen to be a member of the church and go on a mission, but I don't love him any less for the person he is. He is my brother and no matter what I love him. Hes always so much fun to play games with. It seems that him and Jeanne are the only ones who will play Monopoly with me. LOL One of our favorite games to play with each other is Settlers of Catan. We don't play it exactly right because technically you have to have at lest three players. But why should we let that stop us? Hes in Costa Rica right now and I miss him.
I'm sooo excited for the end of June. I'm going to Florida to see Michelle. I miss her so much. Shes my best friend in the whole world and I'm curious and excited to get to reknow her now. She has just recently in the past couple of months decided that the LDS church is what she wants for herself. I know she sorta made that commitment in the past but this time its more for real. I think before she may have just been testing it and seeing if it was what she wanted. I worry a little that she did it just to try and please me and the parents of the guy she was dating at the time.
However, this time I know its for real. This time she came to it on her own. All I did was sit back and let her know that I am here for her no matter what and the church is to. This time she decided that the sacrifices far outwiegh the worldy happiness. Its so fun to talk to her and hear her mention institute and stuff like that. The couple times I was around here when she was drinking was really uncomfortable for me. Before we had always been underage and so it wasn't something I really had to deal with. But since our 21st birthdays life is different.
Not just between her and I. Just life in general. I've gone out to the bars a couple times with friends from work and though I wasn't entirely comfortable with it these were people that held different beliefs then me. Watching Michelle have a drink though was wayyyy different. It just kinda made me squirm. I have never been with her when shes been drunk or anything but I dunno. It just was wierd that we were old enough I guess. It just didn't look right watching her doing it. If you read this Michelle please don't kill me for sharing these things. Your my bestest best friend. My sister that I was meant to have. (One of them anyway)
I'm not going to censor myself on this blog. I know its full or randomness. Thats because my thoughts are a little random. Me? ADHD? Nooooo! LOL Well I guess thats all I have to say for today. Lots of love and hugs!