My first Blog on this site!

So this is my first posting for this blog. I'm going to take it slow and just learn as I go. I guess I wanted soemthing like this that is just a little more private then my myspace page. The myspace blogs seem more like something for huge things and not just everyday blogging. So I might do both I might just do this one. I don't know yet.

So there has been this guy in my branch named Will. that I've been sorta curious about. I kind of wanted to get to know him better. I just don't have the confidence to walk up to him and invite him to do stuff. Also stupid crap with my ex prevented me from following through. But now this guy wants to set me up with another guy. A guy named Sam. I'm open to it I guess. I would never turn down a date. . From what I understand of this new guy is he was married once before and has only recently been coming back to church. Does it make me a bad person that I hesitate a little? I sure hope not. I will take a chance though. If I've learned anything its that you never know who might be a good fit for you.
I guess my prefence for the man I marry is one who has never been married before and who is strong in the Church. This doesn't mean this is the only option though. I'm open to anyone. I love kids. If my dad hadn't been willing to marry someone with kids I wouldn't have him now. Technically hes my stepdad. But since my real dad died when I was not quite a year old, hes the only dad I've really ever known. My mom married him when I was two. The only time I ever really think of him as my stepdad is when I have to explain to people why my last name is different.
I think about my real dad sometimes. My mom tells me that I was just his pride and joy. I wonder, would he be proud of me? With the life I lead? The choices I have made? I hope so. Is it weird that every once and a while I feel like I miss him? I didn't know him very long but sometims its sad. Though I wouldn't trade the family I have for anything. I love my stepdad. And my youngest brother Ben wouldn't be here if things hadn't happned the way they did.
Ben is just the coolest kid. He makes me laugh. Sometimes it seems that we are really close. Yes I wish he chosen to be a member of the church and go on a mission, but I don't love him any less for the person he is. He is my brother and no matter what I love him. Hes always so much fun to play games with. It seems that him and Jeanne are the only ones who will play Monopoly with me. LOL One of our favorite games to play with each other is Settlers of Catan. We don't play it exactly right because technically you have to have at lest three players. But why should we let that stop us? Hes in Costa Rica right now and I miss him.
I'm sooo excited for the end of June. I'm going to Florida to see Michelle. I miss her so much. Shes my best friend in the whole world and I'm curious and excited to get to reknow her now. She has just recently in the past couple of months decided that the LDS church is what she wants for herself. I know she sorta made that commitment in the past but this time its more for real. I think before she may have just been testing it and seeing if it was what she wanted. I worry a little that she did it just to try and please me and the parents of the guy she was dating at the time.
However, this time I know its for real. This time she came to it on her own. All I did was sit back and let her know that I am here for her no matter what and the church is to. This time she decided that the sacrifices far outwiegh the worldy happiness. Its so fun to talk to her and hear her mention institute and stuff like that. The couple times I was around here when she was drinking was really uncomfortable for me. Before we had always been underage and so it wasn't something I really had to deal with. But since our 21st birthdays life is different.
Not just between her and I. Just life in general. I've gone out to the bars a couple times with friends from work and though I wasn't entirely comfortable with it these were people that held different beliefs then me. Watching Michelle have a drink though was wayyyy different. It just kinda made me squirm. I have never been with her when shes been drunk or anything but I dunno. It just was wierd that we were old enough I guess. It just didn't look right watching her doing it. If you read this Michelle please don't kill me for sharing these things. Your my bestest best friend. My sister that I was meant to have. (One of them anyway)
I'm not going to censor myself on this blog. I know its full or randomness. Thats because my thoughts are a little random. Me? ADHD? Nooooo! LOL Well I guess thats all I have to say for today. Lots of love and hugs!